Pow! Right in the kisser.

Already we are realizing that kids seem to like to do the unexpected. Everyone has heard stories about how infant boys seem to wait until their diapers are off before peeing on the defenseless parent who happens to have drawn diaper duty. Well, its not just boys. Granted, girls don’t have the directionality, or maybe even the range, but Riley clearly delights in the sneak attack. Last night, round about 1:00 am, I decided to change her before a feeding. I have developed a system that has a pretty good track record, where I open the diaper and either fan or blow some air in there to trick her into thinking she is diaper-free. This normally works and I can close the diaper back up to absorb the intended outfit-soaker. Clearly I did not wait long enough last night as I thought I was in the clear and turned my head long enough to grab a diaper off the shelf. When my gaze returned to task at hand, I was greeted with a geyser. In my sleep-deprived stupor I instinctually tried to block the flow with my hand, which only increased the casualties by deflecting the spray towards the area where I had carefully laid out my supplies. The wipes took a damaging blow, as did the diaper cream, but the outfit she was wearing (which I had pulled up behind her) somehow survived. The news was not as good for the outfit I was wearing, however. I managed to tear off enough paper towels to stem the tide and get her cleaned up enough to move her and get her clothed again, but washing your hands and arms while holding a baby and keeping her clean is something I would suggest anyone about to have kids practice, because it is not an innate skill. Of course, after cleaning and feeding Riley and getting her back to sleep, did I return to the change table, don my crime scene clean-up gear and wash the whole place down? Let’s just say I decided that was the kind of thing that could be done in the daylight.
-Chris